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Monday, April 30, 2012
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Tattoos, hey.
So it has come to my attention that someone, possibly two people have read this blog.
Yikes! The anxiety of a readership that large makes my skin crawl and heart twitter. I feel like I'm at a podium giving a speech about the merits of eating fried chicken skin to a throng of vegans.
1. The first thing about fried chicken skin is that it is not only delicious--but imparts a crispy feeling of carnivore-ism that can not be matched.
2. The second thing is that--------(interrupted by the sound of the vegan crowd beating me to a pulp with their sharp not-fat elbows)
So, here are some writings. Tell your friends! Tell them to tell their friends--and in no time I will be the most popular person since Mahoney fromPolice Academy
My Tattoos! An Explanation?
A few summers ago I was inChicago
So I did it. I got some tattoos, right above where a t-shirt sleeve ends on my arms. And what where they?
? !
Literally. A question mark on my left arm and an exclamation point on my right. So far, when people see these I get mainly one response. Why?
Usually I will say, "It's a long story." Why do I say this? Because most people that know me don't have to ask why. It's the people I don't know very well that are confused. The explanation is something I don't like dropping on people on the fly. Here is why.
I chose an ! and a ? because I feel like they sum up life in broad spectrum way. They are the two extremes of living.
Think of it this way: At one end of the spectrum you are enthralled. You are so into whatever it is that it can only be expressed by an !. You are so sure about what is being emoted that you yell it, scream it, laugh it, etc.
And at the other end is a ? A huh? You don't know what it is so much that you have to question it.
Confident Statement! and Questionable Confusion?
My tattoos remind me that there are two extremes of life, and they are both equally important in my viewpoint. Sometimes one needs to shout things from a rooftop, and it is also necessary to question things: because without confusion and lack of knowledge there would no learning; no life.
Was that deep or what! Man, this blog is really awesome isn't it! Isn't it?
Yikes! The anxiety of a readership that large makes my skin crawl and heart twitter. I feel like I'm at a podium giving a speech about the merits of eating fried chicken skin to a throng of vegans.
1. The first thing about fried chicken skin is that it is not only delicious--but imparts a crispy feeling of carnivore-ism that can not be matched.
2. The second thing is that--------(interrupted by the sound of the vegan crowd beating me to a pulp with their sharp not-fat elbows)
So, here are some writings. Tell your friends! Tell them to tell their friends--and in no time I will be the most popular person since Mahoney from
My Tattoos! An Explanation?
A few summers ago I was in
So I did it. I got some tattoos, right above where a t-shirt sleeve ends on my arms. And what where they?
? !
Literally. A question mark on my left arm and an exclamation point on my right. So far, when people see these I get mainly one response. Why?
Usually I will say, "It's a long story." Why do I say this? Because most people that know me don't have to ask why. It's the people I don't know very well that are confused. The explanation is something I don't like dropping on people on the fly. Here is why.
I chose an ! and a ? because I feel like they sum up life in broad spectrum way. They are the two extremes of living.
Think of it this way: At one end of the spectrum you are enthralled. You are so into whatever it is that it can only be expressed by an !. You are so sure about what is being emoted that you yell it, scream it, laugh it, etc.
And at the other end is a ? A huh? You don't know what it is so much that you have to question it.
Confident Statement! and Questionable Confusion?
My tattoos remind me that there are two extremes of life, and they are both equally important in my viewpoint. Sometimes one needs to shout things from a rooftop, and it is also necessary to question things: because without confusion and lack of knowledge there would no learning; no life.
Was that deep or what! Man, this blog is really awesome isn't it! Isn't it?
Haha. But seriously, my tattoos are badass.
Ok. You just experienced another nightshift writing. C'mon other nightshift folk, post something on here in the comments. Something about tattoos, something about fried chicken. Heck, berate me for saying that vegans have sharp elbows--I don't care.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
A Story about Margie's Cat "Diamond"
Diamond is a cat. She has whiskers. Her whiskers are long and obviously cat-like. Diamond is a cat(as I've previously stated) but she is different from most cats. Diamond is self-aware. Diamond is a human caught in a cat's body.
"Why should I eat mice?" she thought. "They taste terrible. I don't want to live the life of a stereotypical cat. Eating mice all the time. Peh. It's barbaric." And Diamond never ate mice again. Just like that. She decided to give up killing and focus on her new non-mice murdering hobby: the collecting of mis-shapen coins.
The first coin she found was under the tire of a large red automobile. It was a deformed nickel in the shape of a question mark. "Nickel, why are you mis-shapen? Why are you a question mark?" Diamond asked the coin.
Diamond waited for an answer. And waited. And waited. Then....EUREKA! Diamond had a thought that blew her whiskers back. "The question mark shaped coin can't answer a question because it IS a question."
And with that, Diamond became very proud of herself and decided to treat her self to a nice soy-burger.
The end.
"Why should I eat mice?" she thought. "They taste terrible. I don't want to live the life of a stereotypical cat. Eating mice all the time. Peh. It's barbaric." And Diamond never ate mice again. Just like that. She decided to give up killing and focus on her new non-mice murdering hobby: the collecting of mis-shapen coins.
The first coin she found was under the tire of a large red automobile. It was a deformed nickel in the shape of a question mark. "Nickel, why are you mis-shapen? Why are you a question mark?" Diamond asked the coin.
Diamond waited for an answer. And waited. And waited. Then....EUREKA! Diamond had a thought that blew her whiskers back. "The question mark shaped coin can't answer a question because it IS a question."
And with that, Diamond became very proud of herself and decided to treat her self to a nice soy-burger.
The end.
Holy Crap. I have a blog. I am "internet-izing". I am hip.
Are you falling asleep? Shame on you! You are working, what do you think--money grows on Z's?
Here! Something to do! A Night Shift blog. I will entertain you with my droning stories of wonder and unbelievable excitement! (not unbelievable in the good way, but unbelievable in that way where you're like "no way is that true, i guess i'll have to keep reading to make a complete analysis")
I will start with this: a short story involving a cat. Give me a few minutes and I will post it, because I know all of you out there are just drooling for it. But hey, when the foam starts dripping off your chin, just remember: I will be posting it in a few minutes. Repeat: I will be posting the cat story in a few minutes.
Here! Something to do! A Night Shift blog. I will entertain you with my droning stories of wonder and unbelievable excitement! (not unbelievable in the good way, but unbelievable in that way where you're like "no way is that true, i guess i'll have to keep reading to make a complete analysis")
I will start with this: a short story involving a cat. Give me a few minutes and I will post it, because I know all of you out there are just drooling for it. But hey, when the foam starts dripping off your chin, just remember: I will be posting it in a few minutes. Repeat: I will be posting the cat story in a few minutes.
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